February 14, 2025 | By Marina A. Tallman
– Valentine’s Day is often treated as a “high expectation” holiday when couples often exchange meaningful gifts, get engaged, or even get married on Valentine’s Day while others are rushing to the florist or candy shop on their way home from work so they don’t come home empty-handed on the most romantic day of the year. Even young children spend hours preparing Valentine’s Day boxes and cards to exchange with their classmates at school.
Conversely, other couples use the holiday as a benchmark to determine whether or not to stay in a relationship, particularly when one spouse forgets the holiday altogether and even seek out a divorce attorney. For instance, if a spouse’s expectation for Valentine’s Day is a romantic date night and a nice gift, and the other spouse forgot for the third consecutive year that it was Valentine’s Day, the first spouse may decide they no longer want to be married to the type of person that forgets Valentine’s Day. Thus, Valentine’s Day may inspire some less romantic gestures for some – like seeking out a divorce attorney. Even back in 2006, Forbes reported that LegalMatch, an internet service which matches users to attorneys, had experienced a three-year trend of a spike in searches for divorce attorneys leading up to Valentine’s Day.
Avvo, Inc., an online legal directory, reported in 2014 that “the number of consumers seeking information about divorce on Avvo increases more than 40 percent in the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day.” Avvo’s vice president of marketing, Leigh McMillan, shared that “the spike is so consistent and so prominent to warrant calling it the ‘Valentine’s Effect.’”
In 2023, The Legal Intelligencer published an article by Rebecca Palmer titled “Valentine’s Day Could be Called Divorce Day…Statistically Speaking” which reports there is a 40% increase in divorce inquiries leading up to and following Valentine’s Day.
Palmer, a family law attorney at Rebecca Palmer Law Group in Orlando, suggests the so-called “Valentine’s Effect” may be attributable to residual stress leftover from the holidays. Many couples are motivated to hold off on filing for divorce until after the holiday season because they want to maintain a sense of normalcy for friends and family. When kids are involved, there is added pressure to preserve the family unit through the holidays. Palmer states, “the holidays, for many couples who haven’t made the final decision to divorce, serve as a ‘last chance’ to work things out. This final attempt during the end of the year usually delays the initiation of a divorce proceeding.” While Valentine’s Day can be stressful on its own, the extra pressure could easily be the final straw for a couple already in turmoil.
Jennifer Brandt, a divorce attorney based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, suggests the “Valentine’s Effect” may be attributable to Valentine’s Day itself: “Valentine’s Day seems to be a natural catalyst for people to evaluate, and in some cases, make a change in their relationship…I see a distinct pattern where people take honest stock of their relationship in the New Year and make the difficult decision to seek divorce by Valentine’s Day.”
Whether it is primarily due to residual stress from the holidays, Valentine’s Day itself, or coincidental timing, the Valentine’s Effect has been a prominent societal trend since the early 2000s and it does not appear to be going away anytime soon. If you find yourself with questions regarding divorce, consult with an experienced family law attorney. They will likely be very busy!
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Marina Tallman is an associate in the firm’s family law group. She focuses her practice on complex domestic cases, including divorce/dissolution of marriage, child custody and support, and modification of judgement. Marina can be reached at [email protected] or 314.854.8719.
This column is for informational purposes only. Nothing herein should be treated as legal advice or as creating an attorney-client relationship. The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements.
